I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
