HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
