Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
