If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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