I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize