I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
