He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
