does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
