You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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