I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
