If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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