Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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