i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
