I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize