What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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