i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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