i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
