I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
