even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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