i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I take back everything I said about communal showers
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize