shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
