So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
