u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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