we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
