In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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