Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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