Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
