I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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