I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize