He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
