Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
