this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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