I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
