What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
