we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
