Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
