Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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