Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
