you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dignity is for republicans.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
