Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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