Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
