Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize