she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
