ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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