nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
