I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize