i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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