Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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