In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
