So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
