My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize