my shit smells like andre
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
