I think my vagina is haunted
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
