I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we're making bets on your personal life
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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