Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
