i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
