I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
