Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
